Listen to your heart
when he’s calling for you.
Listen to your heart
there’s nothing else you can do.
I don’t know where you’re going
and I don’t know why,
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye. -Roxette
You know what? Fuck Roxette! Every time I listen to my heart someone tells me to listen to my head. Every time I listen to my head someone says to listen to my stomach. Every time I listen to my stomach I eat cookies, cakes and other assorted delightful goodies….then I start listening to man-boobs flapping in the wind. The basic truth is this never listen to any individualized body parts. It isn’t productive in the long run. Plus, if your hear that many voices from your body you need medication, and possibly a quiet stay in a puffy room.
There is a large push to get people to be in touch with themselves. This is a great thing! The bad thing is each school of thought tells you different areas to listen to…very confusing. Although if you are a diverse student such as myself (I call bullshit!) you have learned it isn’t about listening to one extremity or the other. Rather it is listening to the chorus of advice from the entire group at once. Of course, you are left with a huge list of angry opinions…much like containing a Jerry Springer audience in your body & mind. Listen to them for a bit then do this……Whatever the hell you want!!!!
It doesn’t matter what the situation, your heart is wrong just as often as your head. Even when it is a wrong choice, the heart will make you feel fluttery & flowery about making the choice that was right for you; meanwhile, the head will rationalize why the wrong choice it made was the only logical choice available. So, if you are going to fuck up anyway, why take time out of your busy, hot mess life to worry about it? Don’t it isn’t worth the frustration & internal conflict.
Random Rant starting in 5…4…3…2…
Either way, at some point you will end up in a dark alley snogging with a questionable piece of ass, wondering whether it is your piss or theirs that is staining your new khaki pants. Why? Because at every time of life from age 10 & up your genitals will usurp control of your heart, brain, tongue, fingers, and wallet. If my penis had a Twitter I wouldn’t subscribe. He has his own opinions on life…that violently diverge from what i consider acceptable. If you had a friend who had the same sexual reaction to pornography as they did a slight breeze, chances are you would kind of cool off on that friendship too. But…don’t end the friendship because I’ll be damned if old friend genitalia doesn’t break up the monotony of life. I am just saying don’t list them as your emergency contact.
Where was I? Sorry, I am passionate about phallic mind control. Anyway, just live & let live. If you do this chances are you won’t have to listen to your head, heart, genitals, or any other body part…they will learn to work in unison. That’s the big bad lesson of the blog.
Now that we have settled that…it is important to remember if anyone gives you advice that begins with, “You should just follow your….” they aren’t giving advice they are telling you what they think about your choices thus far. like so:
Listen to your heart means “You are gonna do whatever the fuck you want to do…so quit asking…lets talk about something other than you poor life decisions.”
Listen to your head means “I can’t say how I feel because you will get angry, but I think you are smart enough to figure out you fucked up.”
Listen to your parents means “You have fucked up so much you need to rewind your life to childhood to relearn the core concepts of being an adult.”
Listen to your gut means “The situation is gonna end badly either way so make a choice…quick before the cops get here.”
Listen to your instincts means “No matter what you do it is drama & hopefully your survival instincts will kick in soon enough that you won’t have a Charlie Sheen style breakdown.”
Listen to your genitals means “I want to fuck if you could shut up and focus on pleasuring me!”
I think we have learned a lot today. Let’s recap:
- Do what you want…every choice has a 50/50 chance of being wrong.
- Genitals are evil, and should be ignored unless it is situationally appropriate..like while drunk, kissing, or an underwear commercial is on.
- Your friend’s advice is normally always a secret code to explain why you’re a fuck up, but they still love you.
- I need to type something to post a picture on the blog preview…like knife fight