My Inheritance: Pointless Hatred

It did me some good being raised with the opportunity to hear my Grandpa speak his mind. Now as I get older, and my mother nears the age Grandpa was as a child it helps me understand what I am liable to inherit from them. Although it isn’t a huge trust fund, I think it will be pretty enjoyable.

Growing up, my Grandpa had a very strict bed schedule. He woke around 11am, and went to sleep after the TV show Little House on the Prairie. His schedule was better than clockwork. He watched both Little House on the Prairie & Star Trek as if it were a news event. The one thing I could never understand was why he watched either show. He HATED all the people on both shows!!

I don’t mean dislike. I mean full on hatred. If you don’t remember, or never heard of Little House it was a show about a pioneer type family. They had a daughter who went blind, and rude neighbors, etc. The main characters were the epitome of wholesome. Yet, Grandpa hated them all. He even once said about the blind girl, “Half these shows are about that blind girl whining & cryin’ about not being able to see! Whining & crying about it doesn’t help anything. She needs to just get over it!” Then another character almost drowned,  and he expressed how the show would’ve been better if she had actually drowned!!

As far as Star Trek is concerned it was a different animal. To my knowledge he never was a fan of the show. He did not like the characters on this one either. He only watched the show because the women wore short skirts. That’s it! He didn’t like the space stuff, and he didn’t like the characters… just the skirts!

As a point of interest I should not forget to say that Grandpa hated Michael Landon from “Little House on the Prairie”  as well as on “Highway to Heaven” where he played an angel. That’s right! Grandpa also hated fictional angels!!

Now, my mother has begun this odd behavior as well. It was pretty simple when I was younger. She hates Robin Williams, because he acted too stupid for too long. She also hates Jim Carrey for the same reason. Going so far as disliking them in their serious roles as well. Which could just amount to personal taste, but I doubt it. She dislikes Star Trek, though not because of skirts. Instead she has said, “Look this is what the world would be like if everyone in the universe had facial deformities.” She also has offered such gems as, “The reason they (the Klingons) are so angry is because they have stupid foreheads.” Well said, Mom…well said.

She also watches NCIS religiously! Yet, she makes rude remarks about the character Tony, on the show. I have attempted to argue the point that he is just a character to no avail. I also tried explaining all the characters she likes on the show are friends with Tony, with much the same response.  She is slowly growing to hate full scores of television shows while still avidly watching them like Grandpa.

The oddest part is she loves Pauley Shore. She has watched Son in Law more times than I can count. She also forgets the entire story of the movie, and says it’s a benefit of getting older, “It’s like seeing all your favorite movies for the first time over & over!”

Seeing this happen with my grandpa was one thing, but seeing the same pattern with my mother now makes me realize a few facts. Such as I am doomed to hate full casts of television shows I enjoy. As well as possibly enjoying Pauley Shore’s comedy more than Jim Carrey, or Robin Williams. It is frightening, but at least I can still watch people on TV with short skirts when I am 80 years old.

So I may not inherit a mansion, or a phat check, but at least I can plan on hating things unashamed well into my late 80s. That seems pretty damned good to me!


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